


In My Past Life

by Babygirl_Francesca



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Family Reunions, First Time Bottoming, Lots of plot, M/M, Plot, Rimming, Sweet, angsty, but also sex, not slow build up, sex and such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:56:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babygirl_Francesca/pseuds/Babygirl_Francesca
Summary: Negan and Rick have been together since the beginning. They fall into an easy romance until Negan disappears. They meet again on that fateful night in the woods, will their love for each other change the outcome of the Saviors' attack?





	1. This Could Be It

**Author's Note:**

> Wow a new Walking Dead work from me. I think it's actually ridiculous that since April 1st this will be the fourth new fanfic I've posted... After like two years of writing zero things.  
> As usual, the notes section is like longer than the story itself:  
> NOTES:  
> -So it's unknown if Negan is his real name or not, and to up the suspense for the second chapter I am making Negan like his middle name I guess, so I gave him the first name Dean, from Jeffrey Dean Morgan,  
> -This will be two chapters, unless demand for an epilogue.  
> -Rick is a little out of character in some of his thinking patterns, but generally I tried to keep him on track. I was going to write this as an A/B/O to explain why they basically fall in love so fast, but I need to stop relying on that as a crutch in my writing!!!  
> -The angst in this... I don't know. I do a lot of these angstier fics as writing studies for my novel, so if you notice anything I could improve on, please let me know!!!  
> -I know Negan is OOC, but this is kind of his like AU background story, so he's not the American Badass yet.

_Rick Grimes. Five days after waking up in the hospital._

The house was silent and sad without the hustle and bustle of normal life around him. The pictures on the wall were silent reminders, the hand-picked furniture he couldn't bare to sit on, even the paint on the walls was taunting him because Lori picked it out.

He didn't know what was going on, why it was going on, or how to deal with the goings on.

So far, Rick had only found out that the  _things_ outside could be taken out with a bullet to the head, but that a bullet would also draw more of them, so he'd been locked up in his house for a while. He didn't know if anyone was still alive, maybe he was the only person left on earth.

For some reason though, Rick doubted it. The rational part of his brain told him that there was no way he was the only one left. He'd figured out how to kill them, so other people have to have as well. It was just a matter of finding those people, because Rick didn't know if he could go on by himself right now.

Sitting on the floor and leaning against the kitchen cabinets, Rick heard a noise from outside that didn't sound at all like a walker.

There was grunting, but it was human grunting from exertion, not walkers growling from hunger.

Rick was on his feet immediately with a hunting knife in one hand and gun in the other. He creeped silently to the front door, looking out the window without turning his face to it, and saw a man.

A man in a black leather jacket with low slung jeans, who looked tired and like he wasn't going to be able to carry on much longer. He had just a kitchen knife in his hand and three walkers converging on him.

It wasn't exactly a cognitive thought to go save the man, Rick was simply rushing out the door and taking out the walker closest to the man, and in a silent agreement they split up the last too.

"Oh fuck," the man panted, his hands on his knees. "Buddy you saved my life." He panted out.

"You're the first person I've seen." Rick said, realizing as he said it that it made him sound like a crazy person. It was the most pertinent to the situation though, so Rick let it stand in the air without amendment.

The man looked up at him from where he'd previously been looking at the ground. He was clean shaven with grey eyes, and Rick was happier to see him than he had been for anyone else in his life. This stranger had taken Rick from a hopeless situation to one that he could solve, conquer, and win in a matter of minutes. "Me too, I thought I was the last son of a bitch out here."

"How long has all of this been going on?" Rick asked next, not going to give the man time to think, he needed answers,  _now._

"Hey I'm happy to answer all your questions, but I was running for a reason. I've got at least twenty of these things on my tail, and I sure as hell know that I just led them here. We gotta move." He explained quickly and urged Rick to continue forward.

"I can't just leave, this is my home." Rick said, motioning towards his suburban slice of life.

"That's great and all, but these things aren't going to stop. We need weapons, a car. Have you been asleep for all of this? You can't stay in the same place for too long." He urged.

"Uh, a month actually. I just woke up from a coma." Rick briefly explained.

"Oh fuck man, really? Well you're going to have to learn  _fast,_ this place is not safe." The man was moving as he spoke, gathering himself, making sure he had everything together, and walking over to a car to see if he could get it to work.

"I know where we could get weapons and a car!" Rick supplied, thinking of the station. He was sure that no one would mind if he borrowed the cars for a bit... If the world ever got back together enough for anyone to notice. "I'm a cop, we could go to the station, I have the keys!"

The man flashed him a brilliantly white smile. "Man you really are saving my life today. I'm Dean, Dean Morgan." He introduced himself.

"Rick Grimes."

* * *

"So this has been going on for just over a month?" Rick questioned, stuffing his duffel bag with guns from the armory, no one had raided it, for which he was thankful and apprehensive. He would have thought Shane had emptied this place out. And if he didn't... Rick didn't know what to think of his family.

"Yeah, most people headed up to Atlanta, military was gonna keep them all safe. But it only takes one person to turn a thousand, I doubt it worked out. I'm from a few towns over, just been wandering since it all started." Dean explained. He had a duffel bag himself and they were both trying to take as much as they could carry. Rick didn't know what he would need. He had his Colt Python, but were numerous other assorted guns really necessary? He supposed that they would be better safe than sorry.

"So you haven't seen anyone the entire time?" Rick questioned, referring to something he'd said earlier.

Dean shook his head and slung the duffel over his shoulder. "I mean, first week everyone was all over the place. Then it was just me and my wife. She had pretty bad cancer though, I knew it was coming, but she passed away shortly after all of this. Since then? No one. Everyone's either too scared to come out of their houses or they're all dead." He said with a shrug.

"You said they were making Atlanta into a safe zone?"

"Yeah, I mean as safe as they can make it. Some of these people didn't deal with it as much as the folks in my town did. It was crazy, one day everyone had a fever, and the next they were dead, coming back to life. I don't think the military would have been able to control something like that. Just my two cents though." He explained, popping his hip against the wall near the door and crossing his arms.

"My wife... Her parents lived in Atlanta. I think, I think that's where I'm going to head. Just to make sure ya know? You don't have to come with obviously, there should be a couple of cars." Rick offered, motioning to the door.

"I think we should stick together. Just, you know, what if we  _are_ the last two people? I'll go with you to Atlanta, no problem."

Dean followed Rick out of the station and to the parking lot. He unlocked it and threw the bags in the back of the car before sliding into the drivers seat. He felt at home sitting in the squad car, it was  _his_ too, well the one that he and Shane used at least.

"Do you think we're the last two people?" Rick pondered, not really meaning to ask the question out loud, but he did, so he let it hang in the air, wondering if Dean would answer it.

The car drove smoothly on their way out of town. They hadn't discussed what route to take yet, but Rick wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

Dean shrugged his shoulders anticlimactically. "I mean, there has to be other people out there with survival instincts. What happened to all those fucking doomsday preppers?" He asked rhetorically.

Rick stared ahead for a while, just taking in what Dean had said. He wasn't sure what to think, he hadn't been in all of this long enough. Rick had been alone till he'd found Dean, so that gave him some semblance of hope.

"Where are we headed?" Rick asked as he passed a sign that said  _Atlanta_ on it. King county was a suburb of Atlanta but the major city was still pretty far away.

The CD player only had his and Shane's Johnny Cash/Merle Haggard/Marty Robbins mix tape in it and Rick wasn't feeling it right now so he decided against it.

Trees blurred into one another, walkers meandered pitifully on the side of the road, and finally as the the clock in the car read 6:12, Rick spoke to Dean. They'd gone since noon without really saying much.

"So what's your story? Like what were you before this?" He asked.

Dean took a long time to answer. Rick couldn't tell if he was debating whether or not to answer, or what to say. Finally though, Dean spoke. "Highschool gym teacher. Pretty lame. Had a daughter and a wife. Little girl died at the beginning, Lucille died about two weeks in." He said with a small shrug.

"Where are you from?" Rick asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Montgomery originally, but I've been everywhere, yaknow?" He said and kicked his boots up on the dash, rolling the window down a bit. It was still sticky and hot outside, it would be a while until Georgia got cold. "What about you sheriff? What's your story?"

Rick re-positioned his sheriff's hat at the mention of the word before answering. "Well, you know I was a sheriff's deputy. Have a little boy named Carl. Married my highschool sweetheart Lori." He explained.

"You think we're going to find them?" Dean asked, casting his eyes over to Rick.

"Carl... Yeah I think we're going to find them." He finally said.

"Just your son, what? Trouble in paradise?" Dean joked.

"Well, yeah actually. I think Lori's been cheating on my with my best friend for a little while now. Probably really heated up when I was in my coma. I can only hope that he got them to safety when I couldn't." Rick explained, he didn't know why he was opening up to Dean--maybe because they might be the last two people on Earth.

"Damn, you sound pretty fucking down with this." Dean commented, sending a raised brow to Rick.

Rick just shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, I wish she would have told me instead of going behind my back, but to be perfectly honest, I've been losing my passion for her recently. You need passion and love to make a good relationship, and I sure as hell love her, it's just..." Rick trailed off.

"Officer friendly needs someone he can get hot and heavy with." Dean said, finishing Rick's statement for him.

Rick let out an uncharacteristically loud laugh and then covers his mouth. "Yeah, yeah I just need some filthy sex and I'll be good." He joked.

It was getting dark outside and Rick kept his eye out for anywhere that they could spend the night.

"Farmhouse to the left, look safe?" Rick asked out loud, pointing to a one story building in the middle of a field. There were no cars around it and it didn't look to have too many windows to secure.

"Yeah, looks alright to me." Dean said.

Rick pulled down the long driveway and rolled the car to a stop, it was starting to run low on gas. They would have to find some or continue on foot. "Maybe we can find some food too." Rick said and got out of the car. On the ground almost directly next to where he parked was a hatchet, the blade glinted and Rick picked it up, giving it a few swings before deciding that he liked it.

"Woah, more like officer badass." Dean said with a grin on his face and walked up to the house, he banged loudly on the door.

"Hey what are you doing?!" Rick asked, wanting Dean to keep the noise down.

"I'm drawing the ones inside to the door, makes them easier to take out." He explained and pulled the door open, there was nothing inside. Once again, Rick realized that he had a lot to learn.

Rick followed him inside and saw that it was a really nice place, more spacious on the interior. "Do you want the bedroom or the couch?" Rick called, noting that there was one master bedroom and a giant couch in the living room.

"Come on Rick, I thought we were going to heal your troubles with some sex." Dean said, giving Rick a wink. Rick didn't know whether he was being serious or not so he just stared at the man for a while, his mouth finally open. "What? Never been with someone as attractive as me? I know, it's a lot to take in--"

Rick cut him off, "no, it's not that. It's just, I didn't know you were being serious."

Dean smirked. "Oh hell yeah I was. Find some olive oil and I am down." He said salaciously.

"Yeah, yeah all right." Rick said softly.  _Am I really going to do this?_ He thought to himself, he'd just met the man.  _The world is over... I can do what I want._

So Rick found himself in the kitchen, pulling a bottle of olive oil out of the cupboard. He'd never actually had sex with a man, but he'd seen some porn and he understood the logistics behind it.

Dean was sitting on the bed in master, looking down at some notepad that must have been left by the previous tenants.

"Come over here." Dean said, motioning Rick over to the bed.

"Are you just going to tell me what to do this whole time?" Rick asked, still walking over to the bed.

"Have you ever had sex with a man before?" Dean countered, one eyebrow raised.

"No." Rick answered sheepishly and climbed onto the bed. He'd had sex with women before though, so he immediately straddled Dean's hips, setting the container of olive oil on the bed next to them.

"Getting into it, I like it." Dean commented.

Rick just wanted to shut him up at this point so he leaned his head forward, pressing his lips softly against Dean's. Dean returned the kiss with as much timidness and unfamiliarity that Rick had given to it.

Rick brought his hands up to cup at Dean's chin and Dean brought his hands back to grip tightly to Rick's hips.

"Dang baby, so do you wanna be on top or bottom?" Dean asked, peppering kisses in between the words.

"Not sure. Bottom maybe? Less ways to mess up." He joked.

Dean just smirked and flipped their positions. His hands went to shedding Rick from his button up shirt and then pulling his own over his head. "Holy shit, sheriff friendly has a body." Dean teased and pressed a kiss against each one of Rick's lightly defined abs. He wasn't ripped, but he looked alright.

"I think you're better." Rick said, running his hands down Dean's sides and feeling the man shiver as he did.

Dean brought his fingers down to Rick's jeans and undid the button, pulling them down, stopping to get his shoes off, and then pulling them off. Dean stood up for a moment to get his own pants off and then climbed back on.

Rick grabbed Dean's hips and pulled them down to meet his, their erect cocks meeting and creating friction that send sparks through Rick's body. Dean brought his mouth down to nip and bite at Rick's neck, shoulder, and chest.

Rick wrapped one of his hands loosely around both of their cocks and Dean moaned loudly, thrusting his cock leisurely in Rick's grip.

Eventually Dean pulled Rick's hand away and said, "it has been a fucking minute don't want this over before it even begins. Why don't you get on your hands and knees baby." Dean commanded and Rick was quick to turn himself over and get in position. He presented his ass to Dean and saw the olive oil container disappear from next to him.

"I'll try to take it slow but it might hurt just a little." Dean warned, drizzling the thick substance over his fingers.

Rick felt the first protrusion and widened his eyebrows, trying to take in all the sensations. It wasn't bad, it made him feel full, and in a way he kind of liked it.

The single finger pushed all the way in till Rick could feel Dean's knuckles pressing against his ass, and then it pulled all the way out and another finger entered with it. This time there was a slight burning sensation from the stretch and Dean scissored his fingers lightly inside of him.

"Oh fuck." Rick breathed when the fingers ghosted over something inside of him.

"Feel good baby?" Dean questioned.

"Oh yeah, you can give me more." He said and Dean immediately added a third finger.

The stretch at that point was pretty harsh, but Rick could feel himself loosening and getting used to it. He pushed his ass back on Dean's fingers.

Another deep moan came from behind him and suddenly all of the fingers were being pulled out. Rick let out a soft whine at the loss, but immediately there was something much bigger prodding at his entrance and he could feel the blunt tip of Dean's cock resting behind him.

"You ready?" Dean asked, leaning forward to press kisses against Rick's back.

"Fuck yes." Rick acquiesced and then the tip was pushing in, stretching Rick further than he had been and forcing him to relax almost every muscle in his body to make way for Dean's large cock.

It felt like an eternity before Dean was finally inside and he could feel the man resting with his hips touching Rick's ass.

He pulled out incredibly slowly before pushing at the same speed back in and Rick was quickly getting impatient. He pressed his hips back quickly against Dean and the man immediately shifted his demeanor. He grabbed Rick's hips and pulled the man tight against him before both thrusting and pushing Rick's hips away, and then pulling him back down in rapid succession.

Dean set a brutal pace and Rick had to brace himself by digging his fingers into the sheets as his body was almost violently rocked back and forth by Dean.

The only sounds in the room was Dean's balls slapping against Rick's ass, and the moans that both of them were letting out.

"I'm gonna cum soon." Dean moaned and pressed more kisses into Rick's back.

"Touch me, please." He begged softly and then Dean's hand was on his cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

Within a few more pumps and thrusts both of them were cumming hard.

Dean collapsed on the bed next to Rick and Rick turned himself over to stare up at the ceiling.

"That was pretty fucking good." Dean panted out, glancing over at Rick.

Rick remained staring up at the ceiling. "Yeah... Yeah, that was good." He finally said.

Dean brushed a hand over Rick's shoulders and then loosely gripped onto his bicep, not letting go. "I'm guessing we'll make it to Atlanta tomorrow or the next day."

"Tomorrow if we don't run into anymore road blocks." Rick agreed.

"When we find your family we can just forget that this happened." Dean suggested but Rick shook his head.

"We'll see."

* * *

They were about twenty miles outside of Atlanta and Rick was starting to get nervous. "Why isn't there any noise?" He asked. The windows were unrolled, and even though the air conditioning was on they could still hear just fine. But there was nothing, just the sounds of birds and the wind.

Dean had his feet kicked up on the dash again and rested his hand softly on Rick's thigh. "I don't know." Is the only response that he gave to Rick, but squeezed lightly on Rick's thigh.

"We're the last ones out here." Rick said after a few moments of just staring into the road. They were getting closer to Atlanta on a back road, there were no cars to move or other obstructions, and they were making great time. But Rick was getting more upset as they got closer to the city. They saw no animals on the side of the road, deeper into the forest, all they saw was the occasional walker, meandering down the road.

"Your kid is still out here somewhere, you can't say that." Dean reprimanded and Rick slunk a little deeper into the drivers seat. They'd found some gas in the barn and they were good to make it to Atlanta, but the fuel gauge was nearing empty again.

They pulled into the outskirts of Atlanta ad Rick rolled the car to a stop. He didn't respond to what Dean had said, just moved on to another subject. "We should probably continue on foot. We'll find Lori's parents house and if they're not there... Then they're not there, and we'll figure out what to do." Rick said with a resolute nod and turned the car off.

"Sounds good." Dean agreed and slipped out of the car. They grabbed the bags out of the back and Rick left the keys on the front seat in case there was someone out there and they needed a car.

Rick carried the duffel bag full of guns, Dean carried a large backpack filled with other things that they might need. They both had guns on their hips but neither of them were going to use them until they were sure that the city was safe. A group of twenty in a place like King County would be minuscule compared to what Atlanta might hold for them... Or there would be no dead and they would run into the military soon, protecting the living, and Rick's family.

They had come in on the South West side of Atlanta, which meant they were close to Lori's parents.

The two treaded lightly as they walked further into the city, Rick kept his hatchet tightly gripped in his hand, Dean had his knife already halfway out of its sheath. Both of them were on edge and scanning with every step they took.

A moan brought their attention to an alley where a single walker was meandering up. Beyond the alley, however, they could hear the faint sound of more moans coming from deeper in the city. Once they noticed the moans they couldn't stop, it was like a ringing in their ears.

Dean dispatches the walker easily, he'd been doing it for a while before Rick came along at looked at home with it.

"Let's cut up through the alley then it's only two more blocks up." He motioned and Dean nodded, opting to follow Rick. Dean had seemed pretty apt to follow him since they got together.

They got about three-fourths of the way through the alley before Dean grabbed Rick's shoulder. Rick stopped walking and turned around.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked, facing the man with his eyebrows tweaked.

"Let's make out." He said simply and Rick scoffed, taking a step back.

"What are you, fifteen?" He asked incredulously but Dean was already pushing him back against the grimy brick wall of the alley. Forcing his knee in-between Rick's legs.

"More like 35, but at heart..." He trailed off with a grin and pushed himself against Rick, pressing their lips together. Dean didn't start a slow kiss, he went straight into it and braced his hands on Rick's shoulders.

"This...Is...Ridiculous." Rick forced out between kisses, and even as he was ridiculing what they were doing, he was kissing Dean back with the same intensity.

Their lips were locked together, only breaking apart when breathing through their noses wasn't quite enough. Rick's hands were cupping tightly at Dean's ass, pulling his cock closer to Rick's and grinding themselves together.

"Mmm, says the man who's grinding against me like we're at prom." Dean joked and moved his lips down to Rick's neck, biting and sucking his way up to Rick's ear, softly taking the lobe between his teeth.

Rick took a moment to scan the alley and then abruptly pushed Dean away.

"What's wrong...?" Dean questioned, answering the question for himself when he noticed walkers coming in from one side of the alley, they both whipped their heads around and saw that walkers were also streaming in from the other side of the alley. "Well this is just fucking fantastic." Dean grumbled.

There was a fire escape directly across from them and with one jump Rick grabbed the ladder and forced it down. He ushered Dean up first and followed him close behind. They raced up the steps until they were at the top landing. "Up the ladder again, let's get to the roof." Rick urged and Dean continued up, climbing higher and higher until he was swinging himself over the roof.

Rick chanced a glance down at the alley and saw that it was quickly filling with the dead, they were packed in there. Rick wondered how the two of them had caught the attention of that many walkers, and then he had a realization.  _That's why Dean said we couldn't stay in one place for too long...They draw each other._

And Rick scurried up the ladder after Dean, swinging himself over the roof ledge again.

Rick panted for a few moments, laying on his back and catching his breath. "We are  _never_ doing that again." He emphasized.

"I don't know, the danger kind of made it hotter." Dean said, looking over the edge at all the walkers.

Rick had to cover his mouth by how hard he was laughing. "Jeez, I went from a wife who would only do missionary, to a man who gets off on the danger of almost being eaten alive." He joked.

Dean just made a crude motion, feigning holding a cock in one hand and popping his cheek to resemble a blow job.

Getting up on his feet, Rick walked to the other end of the building, to look out towards where Lori's parents house would be. "Oh shit." He mumbled and Dean came up beside him.

"Damn." He echoed. The neighborhood they were in had the least amount of walkers, by far. Further into the city it looked like you couldn't even sprint at full speed and not be taken down by a walker.

"My family is dead." Is all the Rick could think to say and he sat back down on the roof of the building.

Dean sat down next to Rick and put his arm around the man's shoulders. "Well... Mine is too." He said. Dean wasn't that great at comforting people, but he would at least try.

"Just... Just fuck me again." Rick said softly, looking up at Dean.

It was Dean's turn to look taken aback. "Right now? Right here? You sure?" He asked, going through all the questions that he thought he should ask.

"Yeah. You said I needed hot sex to get over my wife cheating on me. Same principle." He explained.

"I don't even have any lube." Dean tried to reason.

"Don't lie to me." Rick argued back.

Dean sheepishly withdrew a bottle of lube from his backpack. Rick had seen him pick it up at a convenience store they'd stopped at.

"You're  _sure_?" Dean double checked.

"I'm sure." Rick agreed and lay down on his back, he pulled Dean down on top of him.

Dean made quick work of pulling Rick's pants and shoes off, he only unbuttoned his own and pulled his boxers under his cock. He slicked up two fingers with lube and pressed both in at once.

"Oh  _fuck._ " Rick moaned and pushed his head back against the concrete floor. The burn was worse than yesterday since Dean wasn't working him up with his fingers, but Rick appreciated it. He appreciated that Dean was going to go hard and fast because that's what Rick needed.

It felt like only seconds before Dean was pushing his cock in, hungrily thrusting in and out of Rick's ass and stroking the mans cock to match up with it. "God you're hot." Dean moaned.

The moans below them and the moans between them melded together. Rick screwed his eyes shut and let the motions of Dean's quick thrusts rock his body.

Finally, both of them were cumming, almost simultaneously. Rick felt his body turn into jello and then it was over. He pulled his clothes back on, brushed himself off and they both stood up, ready to get back to business.

* * *

"This could be it." Rick said, motioning around the giant penthouse apartment that they'd found one level below the roof. There were no walkers, it was clean, all the perishable food they could throw out the window, it had fire escape access, and the previous tenants seemed to have loved canned foods.

"This could be what?" Dean questioned, lazed out on the white leather sofa, he'd kicked his boots onto an ostentatious zebra print rug and was absent-mindedly flipping through an issue of  _Sports Illustrated._

"Our home." Rick answered back. He made his way over to the kitchen, going through all of the cabinets and taking stock of what all they had.

"Like home  _home?_ Like we would stay here? You know what I told you about staying in one place." Dean mused, obviously paying more attention to Rick than to the magazine.

"I know, but think about it! There's no way walkers could get in, only one door that they can access. Unless they learn to climb ladder's then we're home free. The ones below us will eventually be drawn by another noise and we can make supply runs further into the city when we need to." He explained and was throwing everything in the fridge into a giant bag that he'd found. The scent wasn't too bad, but there was definitely some spoiled food in there. Once he'd gathered everything up Rick simply pushed the bag out a window and onto the street below them.

Dean set down the magazine and looked around the place, actually taking it in for real. "You know... You're right. I hate to say it but you're right." He muttered, walking through the rooms. It was a large apartment with plenty of space for both of them, even if they would probably be sharing a room. "We're close enough to the edge of town that we could get out of here if we needed, but in town enough that supplies should be readily available. I like it." He finally agreed and gave Rick a huge smile.

It was two days later when they realized a fundamental flaw in the place-there was no water.

Rick hadn't even thought about the fact that they would need bottled water now because the taps didn't work.

"Should we search the places below us?" Dean questioned.

Rick was looking out a window down both sides of the street. The walkers had cleared out, drawn by the sound of what Rick thought was a bomb the day before. They'd seen smoke rising, but it would have been a death mission to investigate it, and a walker could have set something off by accident. "No, there's not a great chance that we'll find as much as we need. But just down the street, maybe two, there's an  _Exxon_ gas station. They should have a bunch."

Dean came to join him by the window and Rick pointed down where he was looking. It was kind of hidden but Rick recognized the logo on the giant sign outside.

"That's perfect." He agreed. "We could head out right now. Shouldn't take us more than a half an hour." Dean said and grabbed the duffel full of guns. He emptied it out onto the bed and then slung it over his back. "We'll grab all the liquids that won't spoil." he suggested.

Rick nodded. "They alley is almost completely clear, let's head down the fire escape.

They made quick time getting to the bottom and Rick took out two walkers himself with the hatchet. He was getting better at it, more natural. It would be a long time before he could take them out as naturally as Dean could, but he was getting there.

They didn't run initially, they just walked at a quick pace down the road. They realized as they neared the station that getting back was going to be a little more difficult since a few more walkers than they could easily take out were trailing them.

Rick broke the glass of a window so that they wouldn't have to ruin the doors and let the walkers in. The place was cleared out and the front doors were locked. No one had looted it and even though they were just getting water, it would probably be an invaluable place to return to if they needed anything in the future.

Quickly working, they got every kind of water and energy drink they could into the duffel back and Dean slung it over his back but was going to be slowed down a bit by the weight.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rick asked.

Dean shifted the bag a little on his shoulder but nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'll be cool." He nodded.

They slipped back out of the hole in the window, taking out the walkers close to them. Dean was having a hard time using the knife with the bag on his back, and Rick spied a baseball bat out of the corner of his eye.

Rick dashed to the side and grabbed the bat, "Dean, try this!" He offered, handing it to the man.

With brute like strength Dean cracked the skull of a walker and gave the bat an approving looks before taking out another.

The two weren't even focused on getting back towards the apartment as they continued to take out walker after walker, not even facing a single close call until they were all dead and Rick looked around at the body's surrounding them. "Alright, we're definitely getting fucking better at this." Dean said. They'd probably taken out eight each for a total of sixteen, and the others were further down the street.

"Yeah." Rick panted.

"Oh  _fuck yeah_!" Dean exclaimed and walked down the side of the convenience store, picking up a coil of wire, barbed wire.

"What?" Rick questioned, walking up behind him but keeping an eye out for walkers.

"Baseball bat plus barbed wire definitely equals maximum head smashing power." He said with a grin and set to work uncoiling the wire.

"Is this really a great place to do that?" Rick questioned, a few more walkers were getting closer as Dean coiled the wire closely about three quarters of the way up the bat, making sure that the end wouldn't come loose before wrapping it up the rest and over the top once.

The walkers were getting closer and Rick took out one, but then two of them converged on him at the same time and he had to knock one away to take them both out.

Distracted with one of them Rick barely noticed Dean turning around and smashing in the head of the other one. "Hot  _damn,_ that was fun." He said gleefully and swung the bat a few times.

"Glad you're having fun, maybe we should get going though." Rick suggested.

"Right behind ya." Dean agreed, slinging the bat lazily over his shoulder.

* * *

_Three weeks later._

"Rick, wake up." Dean said in a sing-song voice, his feet padding closer to the bed as he spoke.

Rubbing his eyes, Rick sat up in the bed. The sheet pooled lazily around his bare waist and sunlight filtered in through a slit in the curtains. "Why'dya wake me up?" He complained. It was probably far past time he should be getting up since they had a run planned today. They were going to go try to rescue the squad car and drive it around to the apartment. That would leave them one last way to get out if they needed to.

"Because it's like noon, sleepyhead. And I made you breakfast in bed!" He chorused and took a seat next to Rick, only wearing sweat pants. Dean had a tray in his hands that had marshmallow cereal in pale looking powdered milk sitting in two bowls.

A grin erupted over Rick's face. "You're cute." He said simply and took a bowl for himself. They had basically been living off of cereal for breakfast, so it was nothing special... But it made Rick  _feel_ special.

"No, that's you." Dean amended and crossed his legs at the ankle. Rick loved how long and lean Dean was. His legs stretched out for miles and his torso was getting more trim as time wore on.

They ate their breakfast in silence for a moment before Dean stacked the bowls up on the tray and set it to the side. "You know what comes next?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and crawling over Rick to straddle him.

"You're gonna ride me?" He asked with a hopeful glint in his eye. He'd been on top a few times now but Dean still hadn't ridden him, which was basically the number one thing Rick wanted.

Dean mocked like he was deep in thought for a moment before getting up and stripping out of his sweatpants, climbing back onto Rick and pulling the lube out of their nightstand. "I think I might just do that." He said with a wink.

Rick reached to take the lotion away from him but Dean kept a firm grip on it. He slathered two of his fingers in the thick liquid and turn himself around, presenting his ass to Rick so that he would watch as one finger disappeared up to the first knuckle. Rick let out a low grunt and leaned further back against the bed, enjoying the show.

" _Fuck,_ you're hot." Rick groaned as Dean pushed his own fingers all the way in.

In a moment of bravado Rick pushed Dean's hand away and pulled the mans ass back on his tongue. Dean immediately gripped at Rick's legs and let out a whimper. "Oh baby..." He trailed off. They hadn't done this before, but Rick had wanted to. He didn't exactly know how to do it, but all he cared about was getting his tongue inside of Dean.

Rick licked a thick strike between Dean's cheeks and finally prodded his tongue gently against the tight rim. He only teased Dean for a moment before pushing his tongue in as far as it would go. He curled it up and to the side, his lips sealed tightly against Dean.

Saliva dripped down from his chin as Rick continued to lick, moving his tongue shallowly in and out.

Without stimulation he felt Dean's cock empty itself against his leg and the man seemed to go limp.

"You like that?" Rick asked cheekily, pulling out and giving Dean's ass a playful slap.

"Fuck yeah I do.  _Jesus,_ let's just get on with the other stuff or else I think I could cum again." He whined.

"I don't see how that's a bad thing." Rick countered but Dean just huffed, pushing his fingers back to his ass and immediately pushing two of them in. Dean grunted a bit but he seemed to take them eagerly, and they disappeared into his tight hole.

Dean turned himself around and lined his hole up with Rick's cock, slowly lowering himself onto it and then getting used to the feel of being full.

Rick grabbed at Dean's hips and held them with bruising force. Dean came in for a kiss and hungrily forced his tongue inside Rick's mouth before he started to slowly roll his hips, working up to moving up and down.

Dean held onto Rick's thin abdomen, his fingers reaching around to his back, his nails digging in. Rick roamed his hands up to Dean's chest and tweaked heavily at his nipples, scratching at them, pinching them, and brushing them softly.

Dean wasn't even moving that fast, Rick was just taken away by the lust of it all--the  _tenderness_ of it all, he was barely aware of what was happening around him as he kissed Dean and moved his hands all over him.

Noticing that Dean was fully hard again, Rick pumped him gingerly, keeping the same pace that Dean was keeping with him.

"Oh god I'm gonna cum again." Dean complained and started to move his ass faster on Rick's cock. Rick was starting to thrust his hips up a bit in response. He was close to the edge as well and wanted to fall over it with Dean.

"Wait let me pull out." Rick commanded and though Dean shot him a confused look he pulled off and sat down further on Rick's thighs.

Rick pumped his own cock hard and fast, feeling himself get close to the edge and then grunting as he came all over Dean's stomach and chest.

"Ohhh, two can play at that game." Dean warned and crawled up closer to Rick's face, beginning to slowly pump his cock.

"Oh, yes, please." Rick basically begged for Dean to come on his face, and not a few moments later the man was pumping through his orgasm and splattering wads of water-clear jizz on his cheeks, nose, and mouth--thankfully missing his eyes.

Rick pulled Dean close against him as the man went limp. "You're too good to me baby." Rick muttered as Dean lazily lapped up his own cum off of Rick's face.

Dean tried leisurely to get up but Rick was holding him too tight. "Come on, I gotta get you a towel." He complained.

Finally, Rick let up and Dean pulled his sweatpants on, lazing over to the bathroom. He was in there for a minute, cleaning up the spunk on his chest before he came out with a warm damp towel and tenderly cleaned up Rick's face.

Rick just basked in the attention he was getting, even feeling his eyes start to droop a little. "Hey don't fall asleep, I have a present for you." Dean chided and got back up to sit on Rick's thighs.

"What's that?" He asked, drowsiness seeping into his voice.

Dean pulled a small box out of his pocket and let a sly grin cover his face. "Well I figure, if we're the last two people on earth, and I have to spend the rest of my lift with an asshole like this... We may as well make it official." Dean said with a joking tone to his voice, but Rick could tell by looking into his eyes that he definitely wasn't joking. Dean popped the box open and revealing a ring.

It was a thin banded women's wedding ring, absolutely covered in diamonds, with one giant one taking up the center and drawing attention. "It's kinda dumb but..." Dean trailed off.

Rick was momentarily speechless before he pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto his left hand. He's stopped wearing Lori's wedding band about a week ago and Dean must have noticed. The ring fit perfectly and while it was a little feminine for Rick's taste, he understood the gesture and loved what it symbolized.

"Where's yours?" Rick asked and then Dean pulled a second, slightly more masculine, ring out of his pocket and slipped it on.

"So does this mean you're saying yes?" He questioned with bright eyed enthusiasm.

"Hell yes it does." Rick answered and drew Dean in for a kiss.

* * *

_One week later._

"This sucks." Dean complained as they walked through the forest surrounding Atlanta.

"I know, stop whining." Rick chided.

They'd had a close call in the apartment building, too close for either of them to feel safe and they decided to move on. The squad car had run out of gas so they just decided to go on foot through the forest.

"Shut up I don't feel good." Dean retorted, giving a wet sounding cough to back it up.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. We'll set up a camp and then I'll run back to the city for some medicine." Rick promised.

Dean had gotten a cold a few days ago but it was now progressing to something that neither of them could ignore. There was a chance it could pass on its own, but also another huge chance that it wouldn't--that it would turn into something that they couldn't treat with drugstore medicine.

He nodded resolutely in response and about a mile later they came across an abandoned trailer, looked like a car had driven off without it. Rick checked the interior with one quick sweep and then ushered Dean inside.

"Just lay here okay." Rick motioned to a small cot and fluffed up the pillows around Dean.

"I'm not fucking delicate." Dean argued but allowed Rick to flutter about for a moment anyway.

"I know." Rick said and pressed a kiss against Dean's fevered forehead. "I'll be back in a day. Don't worry until it's noon tomorrow." He said and stood up.

As he was about to walk away Dean caught Rick's hand in his own and stopped him. "Hey Rick," he started.

"What's up?" Rick asked, turning around and raising an eyebrow.

"Wanna make out?" He joked.

Rick playfully swatted him on the arm but bent down and pressed a long kiss to his lips anyway. "I love you." Rick said honestly as he pulled away, twisting his wedding ring lightly between his fingers.

"Love you too, husband." He said with a grin then swatted Rick on the ass. "You better get going, I don't want to be waiting long." He warned but Rick just gave him a grin in return and made his way out of the trailer.

He knew that Dean was safe. He had Lucille and his own gun. Rick had the bag of them, just in case, but Dean was strong, smart, and level-headed. Nothing would go wrong. However, in the back of his mind, Rick felt like something just might go wrong. He had a sinking suspicion that their recent run of bad luck was not going to let up.

Rick made pretty quick time getting back to the city. He jogged for part of it and walked for another part. The walkers on his way weren't that big of a problem and Rick didn't really care to take them out.

He marked his path with an orange can of spray paint that they'd picked up. The trailer was on a dirt road pretty far off into the forest, and Rick didn't want to forget where he'd left Dean.

The familiar roars and moans of the city were deafening after being out in the woods and Rick skirted along the edges for a moment before deciding the best place to enter.

There were a few alleys that he came up on, entering the city from what looked like the edge of a business district. Rick made his decision and jogged down one of the alleys, pulling his hat down further as he ran to keep it from falling off.

Rick almost didn't notice the hoard of walkers that was converging on one end of the street and filling up the back of the alley from where he'd come.

" _Shit!_ " He muttered, he was in the same trap that he and Dean had gotten in on their first day.

Rick ran out further into the street but something must have drawn the walkers to this area because it looked like all of the alleys were full of walkers. He jogged down the street but felt hands grabbing at him and turned around with his machete to see a veritable sea of walkers behind him.

"Hey!" A voice called from down another alley. Rick didn't even have a second to think about it before he was dashing down. "Up here!" The voice came again and Rick looked up a fire escape to wear a kid in a baseball cap stood, ushering him up the ladder.

Rick scurried up and panted when he got to the top. For a moment he just stared at the man in front of him with narrowed eyes.

"What, never seen a Korean before?" The kid half joked, half challenged. Rick just shook his head to clear the fog.

"No I though... My husband and I thought we were the last people alive." Rick muttered.

"Oh man, that's pretty harsh. Is he down there?" The kid motioned to the walkers with a slight wince.

Rick quickly shook his head. "No... No, I was headed into town to get medicine. He's got a bad cold and--"

The kid cut him off. "I got tons of medicine in my bag! Like for real. You just gotta help me get my friends out of this building and back towards our camp and then I'll get medicine to your husband. Perfect trade off!" He suggested.

Rick thought about it for a moment, this seemed like the best option he would have to get Dean help. "Yeah alright, I just have to be back to him by noon tomorrow. I'm Rick by the way, Rick Grimes." He introduced, holding his hand out.

"Glenn Rhee!" The kid announced, shaking his hand and then giving a mock salute before ushering Rick up the fire escape the rest of the way.

* * *

_One day later, almost noon._

"So here's the plan right, we'll get your husband the medicine and then head back to camp. That sound good? I think you would make a nice addition." Glenn said cheerfully.

"Yeah, yeah I think that could be a good idea. Dean... He thinks we're the last people out here too. I think it'll be good for him to know we're not alone." Rick explained. They were about a mile from the trailer at this point, not running, but keeping up a good pace.

Getting everyone out of the department store hadn't been as hard as Rick had thought it would be. On one hand, it hadn't been entirely his work, on the other hand, he figured that his leadership abilities from being a cop were adding to his ability to rationalize the situation, get people in order.

"That's freaking awesome that we found each other man." Glenn finally said as they continued to walk.

They were getting nearer to the clearing and every hair on the end of Rick's arm was standing straight. Something wasn't right.

He dropped the gun back and broke out into a run, Glenn following close behind.

It was only when he got into the clearing that he noticed that trailer wasn't there.

Rick dropped to his knees in the dry ground. No tire tracks, no nothing. He was just  _gone._

"Dude Rick, what's up man?" Glenn asked, standing beside him.

"This is it... This is where I left him." Rick said and stood up, stumbling back a bit with a dazed look on his face. "DEAN!" He yelled into the forest, it echoed around through the canyon. There was no response.

"Oh shit." Is all Glenn said, making good use of himself and trying to spot tire tracks.

"DEAN!  _DEAN!_ " Rick basically screamed and knelt on the floor again, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. "No, no, no, no..." He trailed off and sucked his lips into his mouth.

"There's not trail." Glenn remarked.

It was a long time before Rick could get up off the ground. A long time before he could say anything. But finally, with one last look around he said: "let's go." To Glenn.

Dean was fresh in his heart, and it felt like a part of him had basically been bitten out by a walker. His Dean was  _gone._ Someone had fucking taken him and it was all Rick's fault.

"Are you sure? Man I'm totally fine with waiting till you're ready." Glenn said quickly.

"I'm fucking ready. Let's just go." He urged and Glenn nodded.

He picked up his gun bag on their way back. Rick had remembered seeing an old pickup truck parked on one of the other dirt roads that Glenn was easily able to hot wire.

"I thought you were a pizza guy?" Rick asked, sullenly, but trying to make the air around them normal and less tense. Losing his husband was a lot to drop on a guy that he barely even knew.

"And... Various other things. Wait, you can't still arrest me right?" Glenn asked, a half smile playing on his face.

"Just drive, kid." Rick said and leaned back in his seat.

He played with the ring on his finger until he felt the skin chaffing and then took it off, tucking it in the pocket of his uniform and pressing a soft kiss to the mark where the ring used to be.

"How long were you guys married? Sorry! I didn't mean to make you think about it." Glenn said with a small wince from his own words.

"No, it's fine. It retrospect we weren't married that long. We didn't even know each other all that long. I met him when this all started... I had a wife and a kid. I thought I would find them in Atlanta, but I didn't. So Dean and I made do. Well, we more than made do. You know like all that shit about love at first sight? I think the fucking apocalypse is what made me realize that it might be real." He finished and Glenn didn't respond, he just stared ahead at the road and kept driving.

The sun was low in the sky, but still nicely illuminated the road as the pulled into a camp. It didn't look like they were too far behind everyone else that had arrived and Rick sat still in the cab for a few moments as Glenn got out.

He heard small conversation going on, but Rick didn't get out yet. He couldn't get out yet.

"How did you guys get out of there?" An older voice asked, Rick couldn't see anyone, his view was obscured by a truck in front of them.

"We met a new guy!" Glenn exclaimed.

"Yeah, basically saved out assess, hey new guy!" Morales called and with a sigh Rick slid out of the cab of the truck.

He didn't make eye contact with anyone for a moment before he looked up and immediately locked eyes with Shane Walsh. His partner, his best friend, his  _brother._

Rick stumbled back a little, a look of confusion, love, and pain crossing his face all at once. That was until he saw  _him._ Carl, slowly turning his head to look at Rick. Carl was crying already about something that Lori must have said, but he immediately broke out into a run at Rick.

Rick almost couldn't comprehend what was happening until his feet were moving him, drawing him forward until he grabbed his son up in a giant bear hug.

"Dad!" Carl exclaimed and Rick collapsed to the ground, holding Carl tight against his chest.

Not everything was right in the world, but some things were.


	2. You're Still Wearing Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad I'm finally finishing this!!! Check out my other walking dead stories if you liked this one :)  
> NOTES:  
> -this chapter jumps around a bit, make sure to pick up on the italicized expository notes after each page break.  
> -sorry they're a pair of angsty fucks in this chapter ::((  
> -dialogue from this chapter is taken directly from 6x05, 6x16, 7x07  
> -also I'm sorry that negan's name is basically dean now. i should have made his name negan from the beginning and then just changed what the saviors called him, so just remember that dean/negan are interchangeable.   
> -THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE IF POPULAR DEMAND WANTS ONE.

_Several years after the events of the first chapter. The wolves have attacked Alexandria and Rick finds a moment alone with Jessie._

Rick approached her softly, watching as she turned a piece of blood stained fabric in her hands, her head turned a bit as she noticed the step of Rick's boots. Jessie was beautiful, he would give her that.

Not giving her too long to think, Rick made eye contact and offered a soft nod. "Those body's by the graveyard, the reason I wanted to wait was... Was Glenn. We don't know if he's still out there." He paused for a long moment, screwing his eyes shut and thinking about just how  _stupid_ he had been to think this plan would go off without a hitch. There was always something that could go wrong, and when trying to guide a herd of walkers, those things that could go wrong were exponentially multiplied. "And Daryl, Sasha, Abraham." He finally said.

Jessie swallowed, her neck visibly moving as she looked down at her feet, Rick continued nonetheless. "I wanted them back by now. I wanted those  _things_ gone. I just wanted to wait." He finally finished.

She nodded, biting the edge of one of her lips and bobbing her head a second time. "You said it could go on a while." She stated, it had a questioning quality to it though.

Nodding, Rick said: "I did and it could."

"Rick, it already has. They could still be alive." She agreed, "we're not moving past that. You know it's just--right here in this moment... This is it, this is what it is."

"This is what life looks like now." Rick said, echoing her words from earlier.

"You heard about that?" Jessie questioned, her eyes full of emotion. Briefly, Rick wished that he could pull her into his arms and whisk her away from all of this, but he  _couldn't._ It had been months,  _years,_ and Rick was still too raw. There wasn't much that could heal a twice broken heart, and right now wasn't the time with Jessie. Rick's nodding prompted Jessie to continue. "I wasn't saying there isn't a future. There's gotta be. Tell me there's more." She prompted and Rick rocked slightly in his boots, taking in her words.

He took a meager step forward and Jessie moved as well. In a temporary lapse of judgement Rick pulled her close, planting a soft kiss against her lips. Jessie leaned into it, attempting to make the kiss deeper, to accept Rick's answer in his actions, but it was Rick that pulled away.

"I'm sorry." He said honestly, taking a step back and looking at her. Her eyes were full of sadness but the rest of her face was set in an unwavering expression, she obviously wanted to make it seem like he wasn't fazing her.

"Rick, there's nothing to be sorry for." She chided and rested her hand slightly on his shoulder. "This--us, is good." She urged but Rick just shook his head.

"I know, I  _know_ that it's not fair to you. It's not fair that you're ready for someone new but I'm not. I lost  _two_ people at the beginning of this." He explained and Jessie took a step back as well.

"Oh, no Rick  _I'm_ sorry." She amended and quirked her lips into the sad smile that she was all to good at forming. "I just... I've moved on so fast, I guess I had reason too. I forgot that you had a wife too."

Rick put his hand over hers that was on his shoulder. "You're beautiful Jessie, and  _strong._ Your boys are lucky to have you, and maybe one day I will be too. Just not right now."

Jessie leaned forward and pressed one more small kiss on his lips. "I think I'll be the lucky one."

* * *

_A few weeks later. Jessie and her family has died, Rick has assumed complete control of Alexandria. The group is preparing for a mission to destroy the saviors outpost._

"Kind of ironic, isn't it?" Carl asked, sitting on the edge of one of the cars. People bustled around, trying to get them loaded up with all of the guns and weapons they would need. Rick had stepped aside for a moment to tell Carl what he expected of him while he stayed in Alexandria. They'd always had the system of leadership in place as an unspoken rule. If Rick was gone, Daryl was in charge; if Daryl was gone, Maggie was in charge; if Maggie was gone, Sasha was in charge; if Sasha was gone, Abraham was in charge... And it had worked its way all the way down to Carl. He was one of the last people remaining at Alexandria during the attack they were planning.

"What's ironic?" Rick asked, taking a seat next to his son and flicking the sheriff's hat up on his head. Carl made a noise of discontent and pulled it back down on his forehead.

"You're  _Rick Grimes._ History books are gonna write all about you some day. Maybe me too if I'm lucky. You're basically Jesus--"

Rick cut Carl off, "I don't think you quite understand Jesus." He joked and Carl just laughed as well.

"Hey it's been years since I went to church, and even then I just did crafts in the kids room. Anyway, everyone knows who you are, we're a symbol of the good left in the world. I just think it's ironic that Negan has the same last name as us.  _Negan Grimes?_ Sounds like a bad sit-com."

Almost those exact same thoughts had passed through Rick's mind when Gregory had told them about Negan. It wasn't impossible, but the coincidence bothered Rick, the almost biblical portrayal of good and evil from the same family. But there was no way they were related, Rick came from a small family.

"You're right it  _is_ weird." Rick agreed, staring off towards the closed and covered gate to the community.

"Hey dad?" Carl questioned, Rick nodded in response. "Why'd you start wearing that ring?" He asked, pointing down at the small band around his ring finger. Carl knew his father's usual simple gold band, this one looked like a woman's ring.

"There's some things I haven't told you. About before I found you and your mom." Rick said simply and turned the ring around his finger. He'd found it in the bottom of a gun sheath in his bag. It was a wonder he hadn't lost it, since he'd tried so hard to forget about Dean since Atlanta. Rick had stared at the ring for a while, trying to figure out if he should throw it away, or hide it away in his things again, but he couldn't bare for it to leave his sight. He'd been wearing it a couple of days but no one had seemed to notice.

"You got married?" Carl screwed his eyebrow in and looked up at Rick.

"Yeah... Yeah I guess I did." Rick wanted to be vague about the whole thing, this wasn't really a story that he wanted to tell his son. Maybe one day he would tell Carl, but that wasn't today.

"Was it that guy that you said saved you?" Carl obviously wasn't going to let the subject drop.

"It was. Suppose I still haven't really gotten over him, or your mom."

Carl put his hand on Rick's shoulder. "It's cool. Thanks for telling me."

* * *

_Another few weeks. The group has been led into the saviors trap._

Rick's hands were gripping the handles of Maggie's cot so tightly he thought his bones were going to pop out.

Blinding light all around them.  _People_ all around them.

All at once Rick wanted to throw up, pass out, and kill everyone. He couldn't do any of those things those. Carl was relying on him, Abraham, Sasha, Maggie, the  _baby._ He was their leader, he couldn't buckle, he  _couldn't._

But still, Rick could feel sweat pouring down his face that had lost all feeling. He knew he would be white as a sheet, cold to the touch. He was exhausted and...  _terrified._ If not for himself, for everyone else.

"Good." A man started, his hard set eyes counteracting with the carefree way that he spoke. "You made it." He continued, stepping out of the shadows. Rick didn't know who this man was but doubted that it was Negan. "Welcome to where you're going." Rick breathed heavily, watching the mans every move. All the men looked hostile, but none of them looked ready to kill. "We'll take your weapons. Now." He pointed the gun at Carl's face and Rick felt his breath catch in his throat.

"We can talk about--" Rick tried to say but was cut off by the man.

"Oh, we're done talking. Time to listen."

And all at once men were converging on them and taking their weapons. No one struggled.

In the chaos Rick hadn't noticed that the man had approached Carl and personally taken his gun. "That's yours right? Yeah it's yours." And the man flicked Carl's hat back just as Rick had the other day. He felt his throat closing once again. Finally,  _finally,_ the man backed away from Carl. "Okay! Let's get her down and you all get on your knees." He ordered. "Lots to cover."

Getting Maggie down passed with a clouded daze for Rick. his eyes focused on Eugene for the majority of it. He shouldn't be mad at the man, he had taken a chance, at huge personal risk to himself--but Rick couldn't help thinking this had partly been Eugene's fault. Eugene must have  _told_ them what direction they were headed in.

"Gonna need you on your knees." The man reiterated, but there was dissent among the group, they looked to him for direction, even though Rick had none to give.

He almost didn't, he was so close to defying the man, backhanding him across the face, but one look at Carl and Rick knew he couldn't do that. He looked down at his boots and then slowly let his knees lower him down to the ground. Everyone else followed suit, followed their leader.

As Glenn, Rosita, and Daryl were thrown out of the box, there were too many lives at stake for Rick to even comprehend. He could lose  _everyone_ tonight. There were only a few left at Alexandria and they would be wiped out even easier. There would be no retaliation, just a senseless disregard for human life if they were all killed.

"All right!" The man finally called, bringing order once again. "We got a full boat. Let's meet the man"

Rick has a brief few moments to think about everyone he's lost. Everyone that's gone in-part because of  _him._ Dale, Shane, Lori, Andrea, Hershel, Bob, Tyreese, Jessie, Dean... _Dean._

And slowly, he looked up as the door to the trailer opens and Rick is reminded even more of where he left Dean to die. The trailer in the woods that was probably Dean's final resting place.

And even slower, Rick comprehends what's happening before his eyes. A man is walking out, wearing a leather jacket that Rick  _recognized._ Wearing low slung jeans that Rick  _recognized._ Carrying a baseball bat that Rick  _recognized._

His head comes up from the death-row submission that it had been bowed in. He makes eye contact with a man who was definitely not named Negan, but did have the last name of Grimes.

It only takes Dean a moment to notice Rick and for the cocky self-assured smile to drop from his face.

There was an awkward tension around them as his men wondered what exactly was happening, why Negan wasn't killing one of them or talking.

It's an unemotional gaze that settles on Rick and Rick sends one right back.

Rick puts one hand on the ground, focusing on the dirt beneath his fingers before he makes his choice and stands up. " _Sit back down!_ " The man from before barks but Rick ignores the orders, practically feels the guns pointed at him as he makes himself level with Dean.

"Dad..." Carl mumbles, fear in his voice as he worried that his father is going to be killed.

"Dean." Rick says softly, his voice just as devoid of emotion as his gaze.

"Weapons down." Dean says and holds a hand up, every gun immediately goes down.

Rick takes a step forward but the baseball bat presses against his chest and keeps him from getting any closer.

"Now it's a bit of a  _surprise_ that I know one of you assholes, but not a reason to stop the fucking festivities. Now Rick why don't you get back on your knees and maybe I'll only kill one of you." Dean commanded but Rick felt the waver in his voice. Rick knew what Dean sounded like when he was confident and this wasn't it.

 _Wanna make out?_ Ran through his head at a million miles a minute, cocky and self-assured Dean Morgan-Grimes was not the same person standing in front of him.

"How about no." Rick bites out, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sit the  _fuck_ back down!" Dean bellows out, pushing Rick back a bit with the bat.

Rick stumbles but ultimately doesn't lose his footing.

"Rick, please." Maggie forces out, "he'll kill you."

"He won't." Rick assured and stepped forward again. "Isn't that right, Dean? You're still wearing it, I see it on your  _fucking finger._ " Rick bites out, getting louder towards the end pushing the baseball bat away from him.

"You don't see  _shit._ This is your last warning." Dean warned but Rick just takes another step forward.

"Why's your ring still on, Dean?" He asked and all of a sudden the baseball bat is coming towards his head from the side. It's sloppy and slow, and Rick stoped it with his hand.

The barbed wire tore the first layer of skin off of his hand but Rick didn't even flinch that the feeling. He wrapped his fingers tightly around the bat and wrenched it from Dean's grip.

"I  _found_ this for you! You're not fucking killing  _anyone_ with it." Rick shouted and turned the bat so that he was holding it tightly, his jaw was clenched tightly and his knuckles ached.

Dean just looked at him for a while. "You're still wearing yours." He remarked and Rick felt the bat digging into the ring.

"All due respect boss, but it might be time to wrap this little show up." The man from earlier interjected but Dean just held his hand up.

"Rick and I are gonna go have a little  _talk_ in the trailer. Anyone comes in, you're fucking dead. You," he motioned to everyone on their knees, "stay where you fucking are."

And then Dean was grabbing the lapel of Rick's jacket and leading him into the trailer.

There was a deafening silence when Dean pulled the door shut and Rick stood rather awkwardly just inside. No one was speaking outside, and not even the wind was making noise. It was just him and Dean in the trailer, their breathing keeping them company.

It felt like an eternity before either of them would speak, they simply wouldn't break eye contact with one another.

"Rick..." Dean finally started, softly, running his hand through the stubble on his chin.

"Are you going to kill my people? My family?" Rick asked, leaning against the wall of the trailer and crossing his arms over one another. All of the windows were shuttered but Rick could now hear hushed conversations from outside, Dean's people were getting antsy.

"No, Rick, look--"

Rick cut him off, " _No?_ You're  _not?_ Because you're doing it right now. Maggie needs to get to the Hilltop or she'll die Dean. So you're killing one of my people right now. You're killing a member of my family." He argued, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

"Shut the fuck up Rick. You don't hold any of the power here. I do. You want that girl to live? Fucking listen to me." Dean warned and took a step closer to Rick but Rick was still holding the baseball bat and tensed it in his grip.

"I could kill you right now for saying that." Rick bit out and took a step away from Dean, walking further into the trailer and putting some distance between them.

"I  _told_ you!  _I'm_ not going to kill any of them. If she keels over it won't be my fault." He tried to reason and once again took a step towards Rick, but Rick held out the baseball bat similar to how Dean had stopped him earlier.

"We were trying to take her to a fucking doctor and you stopped us. You sentenced her to death, that's on your hands." Rick spat out but dropped the bat back down to his side. Part of it was because he didn't want to actually threaten Dean and partly because he felt like Dean could probably wrench it out of his grasp.

"Fine.  _Fine._ Stay put." He said and Rick gave one quick nod before Dean exited the trailer. Rick could hear his booming voice shouting. "It is you lucky fucking day lady! Out of the kindness of my heart, we are letting you go. You get to pick one,  _one,_ member of your little crew to take you to the hilltop. See the trick is that if you try  _anything_ , my men will kill all of your men. So choose wisely."

There was a long moment of silence until Rick started to hear his people volunteering. Glenn was first of course and Rick peaked out through the blinds to see what was going on.

"Maggie, come on, let's go." Glenn said, trying to get to his knees but one of the men knocked him back down to the ground.

"I think I said this was her choice, so sit your ass back down."

Maggie was still shaking with the energy that it took for her to be standing up on her knees and didn't really seem like she knew what was happening. Abraham put his hand softly on her shoulder. "Hey Maggie, we're almost there, I'm bettin' I can give you one hell of a piggy back." He offered.

Glenn seemed to back off a little because he realized that he may not have been able to carry Maggie the rest of the way and she certainly needed to be. "Yeah, yeah ok." Her voice came out in sharp intakes of breath and Abraham nodded, gently lifting her into his arms.

"Don't worry Glenn, I'll get her there." Abraham assured and Glenn shared a nod with him. Dean's men broke rank to let them through and then they were walking off into the forest.

" _Alright!_ Rick and I have a hell of a lot more to talk about, so the rest of you sit tight." Dean said and turned back around, walking into the trailer. "There Rick, you happy?" He asked sarcastically.

"I am actually. Dean, what is this? Were you really going to kill one of us?" He asked, propping his hip against the wall but his knuckles were anything but relaxed in their grip on the baseball bat.

"Things have changed Rick. We don't have to be on the move anymore, and this is how." He offered as an explanation and took a step towards Rick, Rick allowed it for the time being.

"Yes, yes they have. But this? This is fucking sadistic." Rick tried to counter.

" _This?_ You killed a whole fucking platoon of my men Rick. Not to mention all those fucking guys your archer took down on the road. This is fair, Rick."

"We took your people out because they were threatening our people!" Rick was starting to get heated now and he rocked forward on his foot, trying to make himself seem bigger even though Dean was still quite a bit taller than him.

"No they were threatening  _Gregory's people._ " Dean countered and took another step towards Rick, starting to close the distance between them.

"Our people are good people." Was all Rick had in retort. They were taking care of Gregory's people in return for food, they were Rick's people now too.

"And I'm not good people?" Dean asked, taking one more step forward so there was barely a foot in between them. Rick brought the baseball bat slightly behind his back so that Dean couldn't lunge for it.

"You used to be." There was a sad tone to Rick's voice as he said it. Because Dean used to be all he knew, and Dean was  _good. Wanna make out?_ Played through his head and Rick let out a small sigh.

"You did too." And then they were basically toe to toe, if Rick took in a deep breath, his chest would brush against Dean's, and he almost wanted to.

Rick took a deep breath and thought carefully about his next words. "Why are you still wearing you ring?"

Dean's eyes flitted down to the gold band on his finger for a moment before moving to Rick's. "Why are you wearing yours?" He retorted.

"Because I loved Dean Morgan." He said honestly and let the baseball bat fall onto the small bed behind him.

"And I loved Rick Grimes."

"I'm still him."

"And I'm still Dean  _Grimes._ "

Rick thought about this for a long moment and quirked his lips downward. Was he? Rick didn't know.

"Hey Rick?" Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper as he leaned forward near Rick's ear.

"What?" Rick asked, copying the same whisper that Dean used.

"Wanna make out?"

And Rick pushed Dean away harshly. "Fuck you!" He ground out as Dean stumbled back a few steps. He'd yelled it so loud that he was sure everyone outside listening had heard.

"Fuck  _me!?_ " Dean yelled back. "Get off your fucking high horse."

"Stop acting like a fucking child." But even as they were yelling, Rick and Dean were once again getting closer.

There were a few more shouted insults and then Dean's hands were in Rick's hair, Rick's hands were around Dean's waist and they were walking backwards. Dean's lips were hooked onto Rick's neck and they narrowly avoided falling on Lucille when they slammed onto the bed.

Rick's legs wrapped around Dean's waist as his hands traveled up under his leather jacket and shirt, clawing his nails moderately as Dean rutted their hips together like they were horny teenagers.

Dean moved his lips up and then suddenly they were kissing again for the first time in years. It wasn't pretty or clean, their teeth clanked more than once and Rick could feel drool dripping down his throat.

They pulled away momentarily to take a breath and Rick was pulling Dean's clothed cock against his own as they both rocked into one another. Their bodies were moving so fast that they could keep their lips together and instead Dean moved his back down to bit and suck at Rick's neck. Rick vividly remembered how good Dean is at leaving visible marks but he didn't give himself time to think about what the consequences of this would be, right now he just wanted to get off, continue rocking the trailer and--  _oh shit! We're rocking the fucking trailer._

"Dean, Dean we have to stop." Rick urged and stopped his thrusting hips.

"Come on baby you got me hornier than a fifteen year old, I'm almost there." Dean whined but Rick shook his head and pushed Dean off so that he was laying on the bed next to him.

"We can't do this right now, I'm guessing everyone already knows what we're doing in here." Rick said with a sigh.

"Just letting everyone know that you're mine." Dean teased and threaded his fingers through Rick's.

Rick pulled his hand away and got up, grabbing Lucille as he rose. "No Dean, I'm not. Me and my people are going."

Dean got up as well, his eyes clouding over and turning dark. " _Wrong answer._ " He said ominously and wrenched the bat out of Rick's hand. "If you want to fucking go, go. But we'll be showing up at your gates any day now and expecting half your shit. And I won't even kill one of your people."

Rick glared and the turned around, adjusting his pants to try and mask his obvious erection.

"Oh baby you can't go out like that." Dean tried to say and came up behind Rick, thrusting his obvious erection harshly against Rick's covered ass. In that moment Rick just wanted to get back on the bed and feel Dean inside of him once again, but he wasn't going to use their relationship to get what he wanted.

"Watch me." Rick retorted, pulling away from Dean and wrenching it open walking out. Thankfully his erection was not obvious in the dark. "Get up, we're leaving." Rick said to his people and they immediately started to get to their feet but were watching Rick with an odd gaze, not exactly sure what to think after there'd been some obviously questionable things coming from the trailer.

"Oh no you're not." Dean announced and came out behind Rick, knocking his off his feet by sweeping the bat behind his knees. "I've got a few ground rules to lay down. Now my Rick here's convinced me not to kill any of you, but that doesn't mean I don't want your shit! Half of everything, we'll be stopping by for out first pick up in a week. Now," Dean pulled Rick up to his feet again, "you can go."

Rick shared one last intense look with Dean, the man softly squeezed his hand that was around Rick's arm and leaned in to whisper to him. "We can work this out."

Rick didn't respond, just pulled away and packed out with his people.

* * *

_One day later, Rick's talking to the people of Alexandria in the church._

"Listen, I  _know_ that he seems unreasonable. But I can promise you, he's not!" Rick said, looking out into the eyes of everyone present. Maggie and Glenn were at Hilltop, Abraham had come back. Rick was thankful that she was going to be fine.

He didn't know what to make of Dean at the moment. Rick still loved the man with all of his heart, still wanted to be living with him in the same penthouse apartment in Atlanta, but there were things that had to happen before Rick would just fall into his arms. He almost had, several times the other night, had almost just given up and agreed to anything Dean was going to say. But he hadn't, he wasn't the Rick Grimes that Dean knew.

"Rick, how did you know him?" Sasha asked, she was sitting near the front and looked almost angry at what Rick had said.

"It's kind of a long story--"

"We have time." She interjected. And he understood, they weren't just going to take his word for it, they needed to know why Rick was vouching for him.

"You're right, I can't just expect you to blindly take my word for it. I met Dean--Negan, at the beginning. Most of you know that I was late to the game, woke up from a coma to  _this._ Negan saved my life, I was the first person he'd seen, and he was mine. He could've left me behind. He was more experienced, he actually knew how to kill them and I barely did. We were with each other for over three months and that's wasn't a lot of time in the old world, but  _now?_ That's a lifetime." He paused slightly to gather himself and then brought his left hand up pointing to the ring. "We married each other. I loved him-- _do_ love him. I know that he's still the same man, you just have to let me deal with him and talk to him."

The room was fairly silent for a moment until they could hear the sound of someone yelling from outside. "RICK! THEY'RE HERE!" And Rick recognized it as Abraham's voice, who had been manning the gate.

"Shit." He mumbled under his breath. "Alright, I'm going to try and reason with him. Everybody just needs to try and act non hostile." He quickly finished his speech before tagging Michonne and Carl to follow him out of the church and onto the street.

Dean was strolling down, swinging the bat back and forth in his hands as he walked, whistling slightly. "Rick!" He called out with a grin on his face.

"You're early." Rick said back, walking up to meet him halfway. They stopped with probably six feet in between one another and Dean grinned as Rick's face stayed dour.

"Oh baby, I come when I want." Dean said, emphasizing the innuendo with a crude thrust of his hips.

" _Don't_ call me that." Rick said, his hand resting on the gun in his belt.

Dean just smiled some more and then held his hand up and all of his men were at attention. "Already, fan out, we're taking half." He ordered and they broke off, going to search around through everyone's things.

"We didn't agree to this!" Rick yelled and Dean let out a soft chuckle.

"You don't need to  _agree_ to anything. Welcome to the new world Rick, no one cares about your feelings."

* * *

_Later that day, Carl has stowed away in Negan's truck. From Negan's point of view._

It wasn't every day that Negan was afraid of a fucking kid, but today, oh today he was hiding behind a fucking human shield as a kid pointed a gun at him.

"I'm gonna be honest kid, you scare the  _shit_ outta me." Negan said honestly, holding onto the scruff of the mans shirt in front of him loosely.

There was a small tussle as the kid almost shotone of his men, but missed, and then Dwight wrestled him to the ground. Negan pushed the man in front of him away and approached the situation. So  _this_ was Carl, the one Rick had been so determined to find. He had actually been alive.

"Dwight." Negan chided, not wanting Carl to die. He didn't exactly have a code against killing kids, but this was  _Rick's_ kid, this was different. It was basically his step-son. "Back off." He warned. Negan strolled over and held his hand out to help Carl up, "is that any way to treat our new guest? Come on kid." He urged the boy to take his hand. He wouldn't hurt Carl, he would never do that to Rick. Carl was refusing his hand and Negan was starting to get impatient, "you know, you got the same damn face as your dad. Kinda scary actually. Now get the fuck up." And Carl finally got up with no help from him.

"What are you going to do to me?" Carl asked.

"Number one, don't shatter my image of you. You're a bad-ass. You're not scared of shit. Don't be scared of me. It's a disappointment. Number two... You really want me to spoil the surprise?" When he saw that Carl was unwavering he actually had to crack a smile. "Screw you kid."

"I just came here to talk to you." Carl tried to say.

" _No,_ you came here to kill me! If you'd wanted to talk to me you would've back in Alexandria." Negan countered and led Carl into The Sanctuary, at least the kid kept up.

"Well, it was my second option, but it doesn't mean I don't want to." Carl tried to amend and Negan had to give him credit, at least the kid was honest.

"Fine, I'll take you up to my study and we'll have a nice little  _chat,_ how does that sound?" Negan asked and glanced over to the kid who was taking everything in, making a mental map of the compound.

"Fine." Is all Carl said and they walked in relative silence until getting to Negan's office. He gestured for Carl to take a seat on one side of a small table and he took the other side.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back into the couch. Negan had a feeling that he knew what this was about.

"Alexandria. I want you to leave us alone." He said, giving Negan a cross look.

Negan leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in his hands and quirking an eyebrow. "And why would I do that?" He questioned.

"I was you to leave my  _dad_ alone." Carl reiterated and kept his gaze level with Negan's, not breaking it.

Negan let out a loud laugh at that and had to close his eyes through the laughing. "You want me to do fucking what now?"

"My dad. I want you to leave him alone." Carl said.

"And why would I do that?" Negan asked.

"He's trying to act like he's not being affected by you. But he  _is._ You weren't there, after he lost you and found my mom and I. I thought he was going to die." Carl answered frankly. He didn't like to think about back then, his dad had acted fine but Car could tell there was something off, something just wasn't right about him, for a long time.

Negan had to take a moment to think about that. Rick's tough guy persona could all just be a...  _Facade?_ But he wasn't sure if he was going to believe what Carl said. Negan cared about Rick, more than he really liked thinking about, but he wasn't sure if he loved Rick enough to give up everything for him. Everything he'd achieved was here... But at the same time, it was these people who took him that day in the trailer. "Carl, he... Your dad and I loved each other a lot a long time ago, it's just going to be hard for us to let that go, to realize that we can't be together now."

"But  _you're_ the one that keeps edging him on!" Carl refuted, mildly throwing his hands in the air and leaning back into the seat.

Negan took a deep breath. "I know. And I still love your dad, but I think you're right. Rick and I can't have a future anymore, we're past that." He said, letting his breath out and quirking his lips to the side.

"You're really going to agree with me that quickly?" Carl asked incredulously.

"There's only a few things in this world that I care about, and Rick's one of them."

There was a loud banging at the door and Negan frowned but got up anyway to answer it. "What the fuck do you want?" He asked one of his man standing outside the door.

"Sorry to interrupt sir, it's just, well... Rick's here." He finally spit out.

"Rick from Alexandria?" He questioned, opening the door further to see that Rick was indeed standing just a bit off to the side, nervously worrying his lips between his teeth.

"Dean!" Rick said, looking up at him, Dean quickly pushed the man out of the way to walk over to Rick.

"Rick, what's wrong?" He asked, not thinking to question why the man was in his compound, just wanting to know why he looked so upset.

"It's--it's Carl, I don't know where he is. He disappeared. I was thinking that maybe he was here..." Rick trailed off as Carl poked his head out of the other room and Rick let out a relieved sigh. "Shit Carl, you can't just disappear like that!" Rick chided and threw one arm around the kid with a soft sigh.

Negan rested his hand lightly on Rick's forearm and gave him a small smile. "Your kid's a fucking bad-ass." Negan commented and Rick just smiled softly.

"Sorry dad, I just... I wanted to talk to Negan." Carl explained and Rick fixed him with a disapproving look.

"Yeah, Carl and I talked and I think we should too now." Negan offered and Rick nodded softly. "Carl, Dwight's right outside the door, go talk to him and he'll give you the grand tour."

Rick tightened his arm around Carl's shoulders and Negan rested his hand lightly on Rick's forearm. "Rick I would never let anything happen to him." Negan promised and finally Rick let go oh him with a small sigh.

"Alright, we shouldn't take too long." Rick promised and Carl nodded before making his way towards the door. His wives were milling around the room and trying not to look at what was going on but still Negan ushered Rick into the office and closed the door behind them. "What did Carl talk with you about?"

Negan didn't answer for a moment, lost in thought as he sat on the other couch once again. "He's a smart kid Rick, I can't express to you how glad I am that you found him. He told me that I should stay away from you, that it was just hurting you to be near you." He explained.

Rick quirked his lips to the side and looked down. "Yeah... Yeah I figured he could tell." Carl picked up on a lot more things than Rick gave him credit for.

Negan stood up with a small sigh and leaned against the wall, propping one hip out and crossing his arms. "I guess things can't just go back to the way they were."

"No, they can't." Rick stood as well, walking towards Negan, standing further in the mans personal space than he probably should have, and Negan took the message, reaching out to grip Rick's forearm lightly, not pulling him closer, just letting him know he was there.

"We could try." Negan said softly and Rick took another step forward. Part of him didn't want to do this again, but another part knew that it was going to happen and let Negan pull him in close.

They just embraced each other for a moment, Rick leaning his head against Negan's broad chest until he moved his head upwards and pressed a soft kiss against Negan's lips, feeling the mans stubble against his clean shaven face.

Things moved at a languid pace and they pulled each other closer and closer, Rick softly rolled his hips against Negan's and the man let out a low groan.

"Rick, the couch." He offered and Rick nodded, walking backwards until they were slowly aligning themselves on the uncomfortably narrow couch.

Negan's dick was straining against his jeans and he reached down to unbutton them. Negan was straddling Rick's waist as the man continued to thrust up slightly against his clothed hole.

"Oh fuck baby I want you inside of me again." Negan moaned and Rick nodded as he pulled Negan back down into a kiss. It was messy and saliva drooled down the side of his mouth to pool in the dip of his collar bone.

Rick nodded, "yeah, yeah, fuck yeah." He breathed out and Negan pulled away for just long enough to pull off both of their pants, grabbing a bottle of lube from a drawer near them.

Rick reached for the lube and Negan gave it to him, turning around so that he could suck Rick's cock into his mouth as Rick prepped him with the lube. After all the time apart Rick still remembered perfectly just where to hit Negan to make it just right. Negan was falling behind a little, he'd had a lot of sexual partners since Rick and he was struggling to remember exactly what he waned.

Negan was moaning around Rick's cock and so Rick had to speed up the movement of his fingers so that he wouldn't shoot to quick. "Dean, shit baby I think you're ready." Rick said and Negan pulled off with a sinful 'pop' noise, turning back around so that he could look at Rick as he sank down on his cock.

Rick was viscerally reminded of the morning that Negan proposed and he had to swallow a lump in his throat. He searched desperately for Negan's hand and interlaced their fingers tightly. He could feel their wedding bands clanking against one another's.

His other hand rested on one of Negan's hips, guiding the man up and down on his cock as a string of moans oozed out between the two of them.

"Baby, baby, baby..." Was the string of words coming out of Negan's mouth and when he Rick finally came he was coming too.

Negan collapsed onto Rick's chest, and Rick wrapped his arms in a vice-like grip around the man, not willing to ever let go. "I love you." Rick whispered.

"Yeah. Yeah." Negan agreed.

"Things can't go back to the way they were." He said softly, carding his hand through Negan's short cropped hair.

"They can't, but they can be better." Negan supplied and pressed butterfly kisses against Rick's chest.

"I can't leave Alexandria."

"And I can't leave this place."

"We can work something out." Rick mused, looking up at the ceiling and for the first time since arriving to D.C, he actually thought about what things could be.

"Hey Rick?" Negan asked, looking up at the man.

"What's up?" Rick asked, tilting his head to look down at Negan.

"Wanna make out?"


End file.
